I recently had the pleasure of hosting a table at an incredible networking event, the Redblacks Summer Rush, and it got me thinking. My mind drifted back about 15 years to my very first “official” networking function. Before then, I’d been to plenty of other events — working with Labatt Breweries after graduating with my Master’s in Australia and with the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics and Paralympics. But I never really saw them as networking. They were just… events.
The shift happened around 2012 when I started with the Ottawa Senators. As a business development executive, my new mission was clear: drive sales, grow the brand, and connect with potential buyers of tickets, suites, or advertising assets. This was the first time my paycheck was tied to my sales performance, and that commission-based motivation changed everything.
Suddenly, for better or worse, every event had a purpose. It was no longer just a social gathering: it was a premeditated mission with a desired outcome.
“Suddenly, for better or worse, every event had a purpose. It was no longer just a social gathering: it was a premeditated mission with a desired outcome.”
Honestly, at first, it was a little rough. I was way outside my comfort zone, approaching strangers with the sole purpose of finding a potential “influencer or decision maker.” I’ll admit, I didn’t exactly look forward to these events. It wasn’t because they were bad — it was because I lacked the confidence to truly be myself and foster genuine relationships.
Networking can still feel awkward, even after all these years. I’ve gotten better at it, but I’ll still occasionally pull off a handshake so strange it could be a new TikTok dance, or fumble over my words when I’m introducing myself. It’s all part of the journey, and while I can confidently say I’m no longer the deer-in-headlights kid I was 15 years ago, the occasional awkwardness is a natural reminder of where I started.
What changed?
Over time, I found my footing. My confidence grew, and I learned to listen through the nerves — really listen — to the people I was talking to. It sounds simple, but when your own second-guessing gets louder than the person across from you, it can create a real barrier to relationship building.
“My confidence grew, and I learned to listen through the nerves — really listen — to the people I was talking to.”
The shift was transformative (and easier said than done). I moved away from being a transactional sales professional and became more people-focused. I was also able to be myself and have more genuine conversations — instead of worrying about having the perfect reply every time.
Fast forward 15 years, and after celebrating my ninth year here at Xactly, my approach has dramatically evolved.
I actually enjoy networking now.
Can it be exhausting? Yes, for sure.
But with the right mindset and time to recharge, you have the opportunity to meet some great new people and form connections that last years..
Back at the Redblacks event, Caroline Phillips, a familiar face in the local scene, asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:
“Did you come prepared with questions for your table?”
My initial thought was,
“Oh no, should I have?” But I quickly landed on a better answer.
“Nope, I’m just going to be myself.”
When it comes down to it, my best advice for new networkers is simple: be yourself, and don’t go into it just to make a sale. Get to know people, genuinely. And if it makes things easier, there’s nothing wrong with asking them: “What’s your purpose for being here tonight?”
It’s fascinating to hear different perspectives, and in my experience, conversation tends to flow naturally from there. We talked about personal interests, and I saw some people open up while others stayed a bit more reserved—and that’s perfectly fine. It was a great reminder that not everyone feels comfortable in these settings, just as I didn’t 15 years ago.
One person asked a great question about what to do when you run into someone you’ve already met and feel like you have nothing new to talk about. My advice was this: networking is about more than business. The best way to grow your business is by building genuine rapport. Don’t be afraid to ask deeper, more personal questions about their interests. You’ll quickly discover shared passions, which gives you something real to connect on the next time you see them.
My purpose has shifted. As a Marketing & Account Director, my primary role is about providing the right strategic recommendations and, most importantly, building and nurturing relationships. Now, when I go to these events, I’m there to meet like-minded professionals and get to know them beyond their job title. I want to know what you do for fun, what concerts you’ve seen, what your family life is like. I guess it took me 15 years to build the confidence to ask those deeper, more personal questions that serve a bigger purpose than just a potential sale.
I’d also recommend following up with a few people you meet to thank them for their time and offer to grab coffee. These conversations will naturally build your personal and professional brand, and in turn, lead to business down the road.
Most importantly, you’ll have the opportunity to connect with some truly great people who happen to have networks of their own.
So, get to know people, be yourself, and don’t force it. The rest will follow.
Steve
Steve Harding is an experienced Marketing and Account Director, overseeing all agency clients and partners. Steve obtained his Master’s Degree in Sydney, Australia which led to working for the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee. He then spent 7 years with the Ottawa Senators before starting with Xactly. He has a strong emphasis on strategy and client rapport which has led to key relationship building with some extremely well-known businesses across the city. Steve has been working in business development, marketing, and advertising for over 20 years and brings a valuable network, creativity, determination and hard work to an industry he is extremely passionate about.